December, 2004

Thought I’d share this one from earlier in the week. . . .

The family went to visit my parents on Wednesday. Also visiting were my sister, her husband and kids.

About halfway during the visit, my wife storms into the kitchen (where I’m sitting on my own) and mouths a series of silent swearwords at me. I got the gist of it right away. My sister had just confided in her that she thought she was pregnant. Talk about having your thunder stolen!

At this point, we’d already decided to keep news of our pregnancy to ourselves. So my wife said nothing about us.

A little later on, my mother was in the kitchen with me when my wife came into the room again. With my mothers back turned, she tried to tell me something (about my sister) in a frantic series of gestures. My mother caught the tail end of this and went through the roof - I’ve seldom seen her in such a rage.

Well, at first we thought the game was up - “She’s bloody pregnant, isnt she?”, my mother raged. We froze, thinking she was talking about us. How were we going to get out of this one?

We were able to breathe again when we realised that my mum (not as stupid as she sometimes seems) had guessed we were talking about my sister. It later turned out that my sister wasn’t pregnant, but for a moment we thought we had managed the worlds worst kept secret….ever!

Friday, December 31st, 2004 // Family Life

Oh, we all know what’s going to happen when the news gets out. Both previous pregnancies, we’ve told immediate family. We’ve sworn them to secrecy. Within minutes, they’ve told everyone they know.

Yes, yes. Why am I blogging this if I don’t want the world to know? For a start, no-one is reading this (at the moment) except me! It’s quite an intimate gathering!

The Problem
We’ve been very vocal about not having any more kids. Our extremely astute relatives will pick up on the fact that the pregnancy is…not unplanned….let’s say….spontaneous.

So, with that in mind, it wouldn’t be very helpful to either:

a) have the news immediately broadcast around Northern Ireland, or
b) have to listen to a bunch of ‘told you so’s. So:

The Solution
Let’s not tell anybody!

We have wisely decided not to tell anyone. Besides ourselves, only two trusted parties are aware of the pregnancy. The plan is, if we can keep it a secret up to the 3 month watershed, we’ll issue anonymous invitations to a christening sometime in August.

After that, we’ll let people guess the rest. Sure, some people will be pissed off that they weren’t ‘inner circle’ enough to know, but these will most likely the people who publicised the first two pregnancies!

The Result
By the time everyone realises that we’re expecting again, the ‘PR Campaign’ will overshadow our ‘never again’ attitude, and there’ll be less criticism from our nearest and dearest! Everyone should try this at least once

Friday, December 31st, 2004 // Family Life

It’s well over a week now since we had confirmation that we’re expecting another - our third - baby.

Strange the emotions that you go through during those first few days. If it’s not already clear, this pregnancy was completely unplanned. We were adamant that we didn’t want any more children, and very vocal on the subject! Here’s the ‘Should’ve Known Better’ guide to the first few days of an Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Distress, upset. Definately didn’t know what to do. Immediate plans go completely out the window for starting a business, etc. For two adults in a stable relationship, we were completely freaked out - I can only imagine how a
  teenager might feel faced with the same news.

• Anger, frustration. I think I was angry - at myself - for not having sought out a vasectomy sooner. Even the ‘v’ word makes me wince - ouch! Every so often, that D’oh! feeling would hit me, and I’d spend a few minutes silently kicking myself.

• Acceptance. We both agreed that we would just have to accept the situation.

Luckily this all happened over Christmas. The kids were wonderful, and very cute. Jay started to really try to talk for the first time, including a very mumbled ‘Christmas Tree’, which described anything with fairy lights attached. Just some good, harmonious family time.

• Anticipation. Bizarrely, after the initial ‘freak-out’ phase, you start to plan things. You start with the logistics of having a new baby, then you
  start remembering things from the other pregnancies. Nice little moments.

In summary, we may have started out a fortnight ago with an unplanned pregnancy. Today, the pregnancy may still be
unplanned, but it’s not unwanted. . .

Friday, December 31st, 2004 // Family Life

If you live in any part of the ‘developed’ Western World, you’ll have been racking your brains what to get your nearest and dearest for Christmas. It’s agony.

A couple of weeks ago, BBC ran a documentary covering the latest Band Aid (20) single called Justice Not Charity. Needless to say, it was shocking and not just because of all the teenypoppers pretending to care. I’m sure some of them were genuine - quite a few looked like they were in it for the photo op - “Which camera’s on me?”

Anyway, we’d placed an order for some stuff earlier in the day. After the program, we cancelled the order and donated the money to Band Aid. A friend of ours who was on Messenger that evening matched our donation.

To anyone who might be reading this: there are things you buy that you don’t need. Daily or weekly, you do this without realising. A DVD you don’t really want. A game. Your third take-away of the week.

Wouldn’t it feel good - every once in a while - to sacrifice those things you don’t need, and maybe help save some lives?

Tuesday, December 21st, 2004 // Spirituality & Stuff

The third and final pregnancy test has been carried out this afternoon. It’s official.

Folic acid, anyone?

Monday, December 20th, 2004 // Family Life