April, 2005

I’ve always known that the Alliance Party (www.allianceparty.org) are one of the few all inclusive political parties in Northern Ireland. Unfortunately, I’m also very much aware that they don’t have much of a following. As a party, they’re not - well - they’re not very exciting.

So, it was with great surprise that I discovered some of their election posters while out and about the other day. I was driving through Donaldson country (Lisburn) and I noticed a series of blue and yellow posters on the lampposts. Here’s the lowdown:

• Sharing Works - segregation costs
• Justice Works - gangsterism costs
• Respect Works - bigotry costs
• Voting Works - apathy costs
• Alliance Works - tribal politics costs

It’s actually a very powerful proposition, and Alliance are definitely going for the jugular with this. I’m just not sure how successful it’s likely to be. The Alliance Party, to their detriment, don’t have a gun to anybody’s head. They’re not ‘protecting’ anyone’s turf. Keeping the Brits out. Getting rid of the Taigs. They don’t have any Terrorist Wing that we know of. . .

So why vote Alliance? For one, because they’re one of the only parties in Northern Ireland with any real policies. You know, real politics. Education, healthcare, public spending, etc. Things people in other countries hear about when they hear from politicians.

What do the Alliance Party need to do to get votes? Well, first they need to oppress a large body of people and convince them that they will fight their corner. People like me. The middle ground, non-polarised communities who want to go to work and live a happy, risk-free life. We don’t hate anybody, we just want biggotry out of our lives. And Gerry Adams. And Ian Paisley. And anyone else who’s holding Northern Ireland back.

Now there’s a poster campaign! Who’s Holding Northern Ireland Back? on a big board with pictures of the usual suspects. Adams, McGuinness, Paisley (Snr and Jnr), Donaldson, et al. I’m cutting the UUP and SDLP some slack.

The next thing Alliance need are some murals that touch the imaginations of their ‘oppressed’ communities. How about the innocent people caught up in bomb blasts and shootings? Catchy slogan? “It’s Time To Give Northern Ireland Back To The People”, or something like that. Let me know your idea.

Best of luck to David Ford & Co at Alliance. I may just vote for them myself. I know they don’t stand much of a chance in Westminster elections, but at least it’s not a vote for more division.

Friday, April 29th, 2005 // Northern Ireland: Politics

2007 will mark the 200th anniversary of Portadown District Orange Lodge’s annual commemoration of the Battle of the Somme. As the BBC website points out:

it has only been over the past eight years that the Orangemen’s annual Battle of the Somme commemoration service has been making headlines in newspapers and on television screens around the world.

The marches themselves have become essentially a celebration of Unionism/Loyalism across Northern Ireland, and this naturally causes friction with members of the Nationalist community, particularly at flashpoint areas. Having witnessed some of these scenes head-on, several things are obvious to me:

1. Many marches are planned for rigidly traditional routes. The problem is, many of these routes now intersect with Nationalist areas which sprang up since the 1960’s.
2. The behaviour of the marchers when passing through Nationalist areas is unnecessarily aggressive.
3. Nationalist communities are far too sensitive about the issue, and are usually hyped up by their ‘community representatives’ to defend their areas.
4. Both see marches (or the constraining and rerouting of marches) as infringements of their civil liberties.

I love the term ‘Civil Liberties’. When we use civil liberties in Northern Ireland, they only apply to us and not the other community involved. The fact is, both sides have built a mountain out of a molehill. What difference is it to walk a different route to church? I never go to the shop in the Main Street the same way twice! Traditional routes are one thing, but if you’re causing so much upset to an entire community, why not take it a different route? To insist on following the same path shows a complete lack of respect for the other community - something we need to change if Northern Ireland is to progress.

And the Nationalists. Have you ever heard of MOPE Syndrome? Most Oppressed People on Earth is what it stands for. This is what happens when Sinn Fein arrive in an area - they dredge up a wall of resentment and a small issue that would pass most people by becomes a devastating infringement of Human Rights. Every time I see Garvaghy Residents Association representative Brendan MacCionnaith (McKenna to you and me), I wonder what his dubious qualifications are. Google him and see what you find out!

Seriously, though, how long would it take a parade to pass from one end of a street to another? I’d estimate between 10 minutes and half-an-hour. With the proper policing and everyone involved taking a calm and respectful attitude, the whole thing could pass off peacefully.

So, what else?
As I said at the start, it’s only been recent history where this has been an issue. When I was a child, my parents would take us into town to see the parades, and it didn’t matter who was parading, the whole town turned out. In fact, she often recounts that the Ancient Order of Hibernians, of whom my grandfather was a member, would often share equipment with the Apprentice Boys or whoever. There was a much deeper respect for each other’s traditions then, obviously.

These days, intolerance rules. Give ‘them’ an inch and they’ll take a mile. We must protest, in the fact of the enemy, to the media, to anyone who’ll listen. There’s too much to lose by backing down.

My Tuppence Worth
Me? I don’t care who’s parading, I can’t stand the sound of accordians and military drums. The songs mean absolutely nothing to me. I was born in the past, but I sure as hell don’t live in it!

I want to see my kids grow up free of bigorty and hatred. Why don’t the peace-loving people of Northern Ireland club together and start having peace parades? We could get whole communities together to organise and hold the parades. Bring in the Catholics. Bring in the Protestants. Bring in our new neighbours in the multi-ethnic areas of the Province.

Let’s build symbols of togetherness that we can all identify with. Get rid of that tired old divisive imagery. Murals of happy children playing together, integrated environments, respect for colour and creed.

Let’s lift those oppressed areas once and for all. Let them throw off the hopeless tribal politics and realise that there’s a bright future for those who can forgive and forget and move on.

Let’s put dates in our calendars that mean something to all communities. Where is Going Forward Together Day? Peace Day? Forgiveness Day? What about parades, with modern music where the peace-loving people of Northern Ireland can stand, shoulder to shoulder at least one day a year, every year, until it becomes our tradition.

And our children’s tradition. And maybe even their children’s tradition.

And maybe one day people will wonder why we didn’t see sense sooner. . .

Friday, April 29th, 2005 // Northern Ireland: Politics

Well, today marks the start of the May Day ‘long’ weekend in Northern Ireland!

I’m just about to leave the office now, with no idea of what’s in store. I do want to take my camera out and take a few pictures to share here. It’ll be interesting to see what we find.

Hopefully the weather will hold, and we’ll find plenty of family activity around North Antrim to keep us busy!

Friday, April 29th, 2005 // Family Life

I know it’s been released for ages, but last night was the first chance I got to watch The Village. I remember seeing some of the hype for the movie a while back and I initially thought that it looked, well, a bit boring. Possibly a bit of a slow boiler.

The film is basically about a community living in Convington Woods. Surrounded by woodland, they live in a ‘truce’ with Those We Do Not Speak Of, a race of hideous monsters who live in the forest. No-one from the village crosses into the woods and the creatures leave the village people alone.

From the outset, The Village is a brooding, intense movie. Shyamalan sustains this by keeping appearances by the monsters to a minimum and using the camera to create the impression that someone is always watching from the woods. There are plenty of plot twists to keep you guessing (I won’t reveal them all!), but just when you think you’ve got the whole thing worked out, the story shifts again and you’re left guessing.

The cast, particularly Bryce Dallas Howard, are fantastic. I still find it hard to believe William Hurt was the Grim Reaper in Bill & Tes’s Bogus Journey!

When the DVD started, I was half-expecting this to be the sort of file I might fall asleep to, but I was wrong. The Village is a fantasticly tense tale with a great twist at the end. Shyamalan has managed to hang on to the ‘Master of Suspense’ crown yet again!

Friday, April 29th, 2005 // Movie Reviews

Well, I’ve taken the first step on my vasectomy ‘adventure’! On 14 April, I visited my doctor to enquire about the procedure.

There wasn’t much discussion, to be honest. I explained to the doc that we were expecting our third child, and that we wanted to ensure that we had no more children after this one.

Anyway, their (the Health Service’s) main concerns are that I’m under 30(why?) and that we may change our minds if anything were to go wrong with the pregnancy. Since the pregnancy wasn’t planned, we wouldn’t be trying again if something went wrong. We’ll love this one as much as our other two, of course we will, but it was never our intention to have three kids. The timing won’t matter so much, because the waiting list for vasectomies is so long that baby #3 will be born by the time I have the procedure carried out.

So, our local GP thrust some notes on the procedure to me, complete with gory cross-section diagram. I won’t go into the details, you can find out more about vasectomies here. The local hospital will contact me shortly, and we will probably have the procedure explained in more detail by a surgeon before confirming whether or not to proceed.

The very thought of the procedure still makes me cross my legs. I don’t know if I could manage it under local anesthetic without faiting! Time will tell.

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 // Family Life

Working from home today - it’s this that makes me want to have a successful business and never to have to drag my arse into someone else’s office again!

Fresh, cool air gently blowing through my window, the street outside is peaceful and calm with the occassional silent pedestrian walking past. Big, blue sky with only a handful of fluffy white clouds. Ahhhhhhh!

No distractions. No phone constantly ringing. Wife and kids gone about their daily business. Just some light music on the computer and the ability to concentrate on the job in hand.

You can’t beat a day out of the office to get some work done.

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 // Family Life

If you have any interest in Northern Ireland’s current affairs, then check out the Portadown News. It’s a satirical slant on local politics in the tradition of the news articles from Viz.

I’ll admit, I’ve seen the site in the past, but not recently. I came across it again last night while doing a couple of Google searches and within minutes tears of laughter were streaming down my face. No denomination is safe from the site’s scathing wit, and at the moment they’re highlighting the fact that the new Pope is a Hun (German, not Protestant), which is supposedly confusing loyalists everywhere!

Watch out for the reporter’s names in particular!

Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 // Northern Ireland: Politics

No, not another new Pope story. Not even white smoke really.

The composter is really kicking into life right now. Yesterday I got about five bags of grass cuttings from my brother-in-law. There was so much grass I could only fit in three, so there’s a bit left over for later!

Regular readers will know that I’ve been playing with this composter since January, but it never seemed to be filling up past about a third full. Yesterday filled the bin almost to the top, and so I gave it a bit of a mix up to bring some of the older material to the top.

So I got home today with gardening on my mind (oooh - title for a blues song?), and after a bit of pottering about lifted the lid off the composter to dump some broken twigs and leaves inside. Immediately, a waft of smoke and gentle heat hit me in the face! This is the effect I’ve been waiting for - the moment when the chemical reaction inside the bin starts producing heat. This is one of the signs that the composter is working properly!

I’ll let you know how long it takes to break down the first lot of grass cuttings and we move on to the other two bags. In the meantime, I’m going to try to step up the kitchen waste (peels, cores, etc).

Monday, April 25th, 2005 // General

I pity David Trimble. Really, I do.

Constantly having your leadership challenged, striving for lasting peace but having to balance this with Party alegiances and political career. There was a time a few years ago that I truely believed that Trimble and the Ulster Unionists (along with their opposite number the SDLP) could secure peace for Northern Ireland. Trimble took risks and some pretty hefty leaps of faith for a Unionist.

That was then. Jeffrey “Daniel O” Donaldson started nipping at Trimble’s heels, riding a growing tide of Unionist opposition to the Good Friday Agreement. Trimble got caught on the back foot and was forced to take a harder line about the peace process and decommissioning in particular. However, Donaldson waged war on Trimble by challenging his leadership on a number of occassions. Although Trimble defeated him each time, it was by some very shallow margins.

Donaldson eventually left the Ulster Unionists, finally entering his natural environment with the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) in January 2004. His timing was hardly rocket science - the DUP had been regaining popularity in the intervening years for it’s uncompromising stance. Donaldson was merely siding with the winning team.

Since then, the Ulster Unionists (in my opinion) have been in political freefall. In an alarmingly short space of time, Trimble (who jointly won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1998 with John Hume) has fallen by the wayside.

Northern Ireland in recent years has fallen under the control of the hardliners. The DUP and Sinn Fein both have achieved stranglehold positions within the Unionist and Nationalist communities respectively. It’s almost treachery to consider the middle-ground alternatives of the Ulster Unionists or the SDLP, and there is no viable party to challenge the Nationalist/Unionist structure. The hardliners, particularly the DUP, have no real interest in resolving the situation in Northern Ireland. In fact, they have made their careers upon conflict. The voice of Ian Paisley echoes across the province with chants of “Ulster Says No” and “No Surrender”, but neither he nor his party have presented any sort of framework for peace. And still they vote for him.

As I was walking into work this morning, I saw an election poster mounted on a lamppost - “Decent People, ” it stated, “Vote Ulster Unionist”. Now, I’m not sure whether the UU are limiting their voter base or advertising the fact that they are decent people, but I hope the campaign works for them. I would hate to think it would alienate them even further from their voters.

Northern Ireland needs people like David Trimble. Although his leaps of faith have been rubbished (particularly since the Northern Bank robbery and the killing of Robert McCartney), we need people who are prepared to move forward. If we all dig our heels in like Paisley & Co, we’ll be fighting until doomsday.

Monday, April 25th, 2005 // Northern Ireland: Politics

When I get a few minutes these days, I try to dip into a book by Martin Fletcher called Silver Linings. Fletcher was a journalist for The Times, sent to Northern Ireland to cover the ‘Troubles’. Despite having seen us at our absolute worst, he managed to see a lot of the good in Northern Ireland and recorded a lot of his tales for us to share. The book is a wonderful celebration of the people, culture and history of Northern Ireland that doesn’t try to erase it’s quarrelsome past, but celebrates those who have overcome it.

Anyway, I read a passage in the book today about James Galway, who grew up in East Belfast and has risen to become a world-renowned flautist.

He looks and sounds like an Ulster Prod, but certainly no longer thinks like one. As a practising Christian who has long since shed the convictions of his youth, he no longer has any time for Northern Ireland’s bigotry. He considered the Troubles ‘ridiculous’, believes it is high time Ireland was reunited, and insists the people have to put the past behind them.

I think his stance is interesting, to say the least. His background should pre-dispose him toward all-out Unionism, yet he favours a United Ireland.

I’m not a quarter of the way through the book yet, but there’s so much I’ve learned already about the ‘alternative’ Northern Ireland (did you know we invented the pneumatic tyre? - John Boyd Dunlop, a vet in Belfast developed the idea for his son’s bike in 1888). Apparently Belfast had something to do with building the Titanic, but that sounds like a rumour to me.

I’ll keep you updated on the book - it’s looking promising so far.

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 // Northern Ireland: Politics