Family Support: Where Can You Find It?

Since we started a family back in 2001, we’ve come to understand a lot about our own families.

When we had just one child, Ray, babysitters abounded and we were able to get out as a couple every once in a while. My family are too far away to do any real babysitting, but Mrs Levee’s sisters and mother would have babysat overnight. Since the birth of Jay in August 2003, the well has dried up. Two children are just too much for people to mind, and I guess this is a reality that we will have to accept whenever our third child comes along this year.

Not everyone has it this hard. Mrs Levee has a friend called Karen from a mother and toddler group who had twins back in 2001. Twins! Yet every Saturday night, without fail, Karen’s mother will take the twins overnight (plus a load of washing to do) while she and her husband either relax at home or head out for the night. This grandmother deserves a serious round of applause, because she has undoubtedly helped keep her daughter sane during these early years!

On the other hand, Mrs Levee and I hear a lot of rhetoric (exclusively from her family) about how lucky we are to have such supportive relatives. I often wonder how they can say that with a straight face! It’s laughable in a way. These people don’t do a damn thing to help us or muck in. But they expect our help. We babysit Mrs Levee’s 9-year-old brother regularly, and when Mrs Levee is in Belfast, she drives her mother about.

We’re both physical and mental wrecks. Mrs Levee and I were chatting in bed last night when she mentioned being so tired that she sometimes considers piling the car into a tree. Ditto. Sometimes I feel the same way. . .

In a dramatic(!) turn of events, we have been invited out for the night by a friend who has recently gotten engaged. Mrs Levee phoned her mother the other night to see if she could mind the kids overnight. “I might be going to the caravan for the weekend. If I decide not to go, then I can do it. Why don’t you try your sisters?”

You can almost taste the enthusiasm. More later.