Stay At Home Parents
Mark at Occams Razor wrote recently about falling back on one wage when his wife was made redundant.
In our family, we had a similar dilemma. We currently operate almost exclusively on my salary. When the kids are old enough, do we pay for childcare or should Mrs Levee continue to stay at home and mind the kids full-time? If it sounds like we have a choice, you’re probably ignoring the huge cost of childcare. With two children and another on the way, if Mrs Levee went back to work, she’d be working to pay a child minder.
Fortunately, we can just about manage on the income I bring in. Mrs Levee, like Mark’s wife, has enough other interests that she uses to bring in a fair income. If my wage is the bread, Mrs Levee’s eBay activities are the butter.
The important thing, though, is that we spend a great deal of time with our children. They don’t spend all day at creche, then see us for about an hour before bedtime. Mrs Levee is with them all day, and I get home from work shortly after 3:00 in the afternoon, so we get a lot of time together. It goes without saying that we don’t live a champaigne lifestyle, but I think we have managed to focus on the important things.
We have neighbours whose kids are shunted from childcare to relatives and only see their parents briefly in the evenings and at weekends (apart from the obligatory Saturday night out). I know I’m making a value judgement here, but what about family? You’ve got both parents working their asses off to pay for all the financial committments - two cars, big mortgage, fancy clothes and the best toys for the kids. But what kind of family relationships are they building? What are their priorities?
At the moment (subject to change, hormones and the weather), things are pretty good in our house. We’re not hitting the overdraft too hard. We’re getting quite a bit done with our web design work and I’m designing a range of children’s flashcards which I’m excited about. But we’re enjoying ourseleves and not stressing about any of it.
I’m glad Mrs Levee didn’t go back to work. I’m glad I can be home for 3:00pm when most other parents get back around 6:30 or later. I’m glad that my son learns words from his mother and father and not the child-minder. And I’m glad when my daughter wants to sit on my knee and read a book together. Just recently, when I look at all the too-busy parents, I can hear “Cats In The Cradle” in my head, and I wonder if/when that type of regret will kick in for them.
