Snip Snip (Part 3): NHS or Private Vasectomy, Sir?

I had a wee meeting with my GP recently, to see what could be done about the year-long waiting list for a vasectomy consultation. Depressing news from the snip front - they cannot influence the timing except possibly in extreme cases.

Alright, so we’re starting to panic here - baby #3 is due in 4-5 weeks and I’m just a ticking spermbomb waiting to go off….

“So, Doctor, how can we move this along?” I asked, considering bribery among my options.

“Er, well you could try phoning around some of the local hospital’s surgical departments. If their waiting lists are shorter, we could consider writing a referral to those instead.” was the reply. “Alternatively, you could consider having it done privately.”

So, on Wednesday I began Operation Get A Quick Snip in the hope of getting a vasectomy sooner!

Option #1: Join The NHS Vasectomy Queue

I phoned the Royal Victoria Hospital and Lagan Valley Hospital to enquire about waiting lists for vasectomy procedures. The staff in surgical at The Royal were unavailable, so I called Lagan Valley. A very helpful lady there explained that they had two consultants and another one starting shortly. They were working to clear a backlog from 2003 at a rate of 2-3 patients per week. The receptionist was reluctant to predict whether the wait would be less than a year, and said it was uncertain how long the consultants would be staying for.

Basic result: You’re welcome to submit a referral, but don’t hold your breath. . .

Option #2: Pay For Your Own Snip

How refreshing speaking to a private hospital. The staff are so much less indifferent to your plight. After drawing a blank with the NHS, I called the Ulster Independent Clinic. After initially explaining my circumstances, I was put through to a nice lady who talked me through the options for the consultancy, the procedure and the aftercare.

Of course, all this polite attention comes at a price: The initial consultation would be approximately ?150.00. The operation would be either ?500.00 using a local anasthetic or ?1000+ with a general anasthetic. There was also an additional charge for a check-up afterward to determine if the operation has been successful.

Basic result: Will that be credit card or cheque, sir?

Option #3: The Home Improvement Method

With so much information and technical diagrams available on the Internet today, might have a stab (ouch) at DIY surgery! Only joking!