Interesting day. Despite living in glamorous suburban surroundings for the last two years, we really only know a couple of our close neighbours. I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I was going to get to know a few more before my head hit the pillow this evening!
The Attack Of The Little Bullies
My first encounter was earlier this afternoon. I was driving into our street and happened upon three young girls hitting another girl around the head. They all live in our street and the three ran off as I got closer. By the time I’d parked the car, Mrs L was out. She’d witnessed the whole thing too.
I was incensed, and not about to let the matter pass. I went to the house of one of the girls (who was clearly the ringleader). The ringleader was sitting on her doorstep, their group having divided for their own safety. As I walked up the driveway I asked “Is your mother home?” With a straight face, she said no, despite the fact that there were two cars parked in the driveway.
I went up and knocked the door anyway, and sure enough, Ringleader’s mother answered. “Little liar”, I thought. Anyway I explained the situation. She defended her daughter, as I expected, but nevertheless called her inside. I apologised for having to come to her door under the circumstances and headed up the road home. As I walked off, I heard her say something, but it didn’t register until I got home.
Why So Annoyed?
Ringleader’s mother had asked me why I wasn’t going to the other girls’ parents. It was a fair question. I knew she was the ringleader in this instance, because I’d seen her land the first blow. I also knew she was a bit of a bully because of things I’d seen her do and heard from other parents in the street.
Specifically to us, she’d been threatening toward Ray on a couple of occassions. Once, Mrs L heard Ringleader whisper to Ray “Are you scared of us? You should be.” More recently, Ringleader and a group of friends repeatedly called her ‘loser’ as she cycled past their houses, and after another incident, Ray claimed that she had threatened to break her legs. Our little girl’s only three and a half - she talked about these things for weeks. In fact, she sometimes still mentions them.
Sitting in the kitchen, I thought about this. It was only fair to explain the background to my ‘assumption’, as we’d decided not to tackle the parents about these incidents. Since the recent nastiness, we’d simply kept Ray away from that end of the street and told her to stay away from those girls.
Same House, Different Parent
So, no more than ten minutes since my first visit, I found myself at the neighbours’ door once again. This time an aggressive Daddy Ringleader answered. I explained the background to the situation and was told, “Not my daughter. You’re wrong.” I could understand the man’s reaction. No-one wants to think ill of their own child - I can relate to that. Anyway, we continued our heated debate for a good bit longer.
The man was joined by his wife, who continued to protest that her daughter wouldn’t have done these things. He remained surly and his stance became threatening at times. I impressed myself by holding my own while keeping my tone polite, and by explaining that I would like my daughter to be able to play in the street but wasn’t comfortable knowing that people were being threatening to her. Eventually we wrapped the argument up, and I introduced myself properly and offered my hand to my new acquaintance (which he reluctantly accepted).
Finally, I spoke to the father of one of the other girls involved in ‘the attack’. Surprisingly, he was much more amenable and understanding about the whole thing.
In the end, I felt much better about having confronted the issue. I know standing up for the little girl who was being beaten may not have been my business, but the principle is that it could have been my daughter. How would you feel?
Thursday, July 21st, 2005 // Family Life
