Sinn Fein Negotiation Simulator Discovered

I have discovered the secret behind Sinn Fein’s crack negotiating team.

Play the Negotiations Simulator: You are Martin McGuiness, fearsome political negotiator for Sinn Fein. You have a shopping list of demands that must be met before the IRA will consider moving, but you must retain your credibility at all times.

Watch as the Lapdog of the Free World moonwalks Sean Kelly out of jail, twirls his way around the Columbia Three and does a remarkable jump-and-split thingy, before shafting the people of Northern Ireland in favour of terrorists once again! Gerry gives you a nod of approval from across the room. Success - you’ve impressed your leader! P O’Neill signs the declaration on behalf of the IRA, then it’s off to the studio to record the official statement. Thanks to you, the peace process is safe-ish, and Unionists are on the back foot once again - outfoxed thanks to your political cunning!

Thrilling, eh? Rumour has it that the DUP is investing huge sums of money into development of an Intransigence Simulator in an effort to avoid sensible discussion! New technology helping to keep old grudges alive!