In The Labour Ward

I’ll never forget my first time in the labour ward (nearly four years ago).

I walked in with a heavily pregnant Mrs. Levee, into a large yellow and pink room with a hideous wallpaper border at waist-level. The furnishings were designed to look ‘homely’, with a nice sofa beside the window, proper bedroom funiture and everything else. OK, the decor looked a bit dodgy, but the point was that you were meant to feel relaxed.

Then there was the bed.

The labour bed is a real piece of art. Remember the Child Catcher’s wagon in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Just like that.

At first glance, it looks like a slightly raised perfectly normal bed. It even has wooden headboards! But take a second look!

The headboards can come off at a moments notice and underneath, just waiting to be snapped into action are the stirrups! Not so innocent!

Anyway, Mrs. Levee is currently in hospital awaiting induction. I’m writing this as I wait for the call to the labour ward and the hopefully short delivery of our third child. It seems a lifetime since I announced the unexpected pregnancy on these pages, but here we are at the end of the road.

Breaking News: As I was typing this, the call came through! I’m off to the hospital now to see my wife and meet my third child! Wish me luck!