Anti-Social Tantrums & Restaurants
Consider this post an open letter to the customers of the Sainsbury’s restaurant at Forestside in Belfast on Saturday.
The family had just popped in for a quick bite while we decided what to do for the rest of the day. We were all in mostly good spirits and ready for a good feed, but it was perilously past Jay’s nap-time and he hadn’t slept in the car.
The Rage
As we ushered the kids into Forestside, Jay took a hissy fit because we were guiding him past a guy in a rabbit costume. He wanted to stop. We wanted food. So, as the adults in the group, we overruled him and started to move forward. That’s when the tantrum began in earnest.
He threw himself on the ground, did the kicking and screaming thing, so I let him be for a moment. Knowing that he’s usually fairly agreeable and expecting him to calm down quite quickly. After a minute or so, I picked him up and we moved toward the restaurant, Jay still grumbling and shouting. We manage to place our order and head off to sit down.
No. Jay didn’t want to sit down, he didn’t want to sit in the pram, and he didn’t want to be carried. And he didn’t want to do any of this in THE LOUDEST VOICE POSSIBLE! I tried restraining him, making him sit on a seat, but he got much worse.
The Outrage
Can I tell you something, though? Worse than the nastiness of this tantrum was the sense of utter embarrassment, the unashamed hostility of our fellow diners. Evil glances from old women, cast in our direction, but not brave enough to make eye contact or offer sympathy. Nope, no kindly looks or friendly nods today.
As I wrestled Jay back to the car to calm down, I was still raging at the biddies and - bizarrely - other families who were visibly irritated by our presence.
Are we the only family to have ever suffered an embarrassing public tantrum? When I see folk struggling with their kids in shopping centres, I feel their pain. I know their kid doesn’t want to be dragged around the shops, and nor does the parent. But shopping is a necessity, and children need to learn that sometimes we have to do boring stuff.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that the next time you see a parent dealing with a tantrum, try and empathise. Chances are you’ve been there before or you’ll be there one day. Then either mind your own business or give them a sympathetic smile.
Can I personally offer my thanks to Mr Levee who on the above occasion escorted Jay to the car and settled him while the rest of us enjoyed some food in peace. What a hero!
You can
You can also reciprocate the next time Tantrum Armageddon comes around!
Our son isn’t at tantrum stage just yet, (although he’s getting close), but he is at the screaming-when-tired-in-public stage.
Pre-child, I always ignored screaming kids, now I just smile at the parents and feel grateful that it’s not mine this time.
I do find that Forestside is very breastfeeding-friendly though, and that’s a plus, or at least it has been anytime we’ve been there.
I definately agree Animus! I also like the way they provide free single and double buggies for parents visiting the centre. It saves all the hassle of getting the pram in and out of the boot. It’s so much easier to get one of their buggies and return it as you leave. And to be honest they are cleaner than my own ones anyway!