June, 2006

It all started with The Matrix although I didn’t know it then…

Back in 1999, I had just started in my current job, and was hungrily pursuing a corporate lifestyle: introducing new technology, writing management reports, answering calls for support. In my private life, I was following the six-step Social Expectations programme : graduate, get job, buy house, get married, have children, work until retirement or death.

In 2001, something happened which has been gnawing at my soul ever since. Our daughter was born the month after 9/11.

It’s hard to explain the effect this had, but I ended up questioning the world we had brought our child into. Essentially, I didn’t want my child to have the same predictable life mapped out for her, to become a societal drone. Can you imagine bringing a child into this world, full of potential, a blank canvas, and then painting the same dull grey life that everyone else lives?

And after a few years of corporate life, the soullessness of this existence has left me feeling empty and unfulfilled. I sit in on office meetings and breathe in the hot air of self-important middle-managers, marvelling at the pure absense of passion in their lives.

In the last couple of years, I’ve become aware of a growing movement of people who are starting to challenge the accepted route through life. The most powerful statement I’ve heard asserts that if we’re all individuals, then it is not possible for a 9-5 lifestyle to suit everybody. You know, trail yourself out of bed, go through the motions, work for 8 hours or more, go home have dinner and watch Emmerdale, blah, blah, blah….

The Tailspin

The end result of this questioning has me in a complete tailspin recently. But at the center of it all, there’s one question to ask: am I happy?

Fundamentally, no. I’m in a dull, unfulfilling job working for employers that couldn’t care less if I lived or died (I have my suspicious about their preference though!). I had a few job interviews recently, and as I walked out of the latest one, I knew that moving jobs would only be moving the problem. Too many companies are like bureaucratic in a negative way these days.

And so I’m at a very interesting point in life which is both terrifying, but exhilerating. I feel a tiny bit insane with a combination of opportunities and fears. I want to spend my life doing something worthwhile, that I enjoy and that means something to other people. I don’t think I was cut out to be a drone!

Where Does The Matrix Fit In?

The central premise of The Matrix is that there are two worlds: one is the complex social model that we have been taught and indoctrinated with and through which we filter all our life experiences, and the other is how things really are. So, in their heads, people are running around living normal lives, but the reality is that they are all drones powering a giant machine.

Society can convince you that just about anything is acceptable: the clamour for more and greater riches, buying a Land Rover when you could get by with a Ford Fiesta, two parents working full-time while someone else raises their children.

The reality is that more and more people are chasing fantasies instead of cutting back the crap in their lives and enjoying the simple things. What hurts is that most people are still unfulfilled and unhappy. Even more so, because they’re in debt to the eyeballs, but that’s a discussion for another day.

Here’s something to end on a bright note.

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 // Family Life

I was watching Corpse Bride with the kids recently, and was completely struck by the similarities between slimy Lord Barkis and our permatanned Secretary of State, Peter Hain. It’s quite sinister really.

If you don’t think there’s a resemblance between the two, watch the movie and you’ll see what I mean.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 // Observations

Based on a true story….

So, there I was in my car, driving down a winding country road. It was a perfect summer’s afternoon, the sun was beating down, the traffic was fairly light apart from the odd truck driver or Ulsterbus. There were a couple of good tunes on the Radio and I was roaring along to them at the top of my voice when….

Ring ring….ring ring….

I cursed the mobile phone as it taunted me from inside my bag. On a whim I decided to fish it out, one hand on the steering wheel and the other fumbling with the zip on my backpack next to me in the passenger seat.

Ring ring….ring ring….

The steering became erratic as I struggled with the zip, but I finally got it opened and pulled the phone out of its hiding place. But just as I was about to answer the phone, the car veered and I dropped the phone on the floor between my legs.

The ringing stopped.

One I got the car straightened out and regained my composure, I decided to retrieve the phone from the floor of the car, so I blindly groped for it and found it again. Curious to see who was calling, I checked the call register and discovered that it was Mrs L calling.

“Must be important”, I thought, and rang her back. The conversation went like this:

Mrs L: Hello?
Me: You just phoned me…What’s up?
Mrs L: We got a letter in from the car insurance people this morning. There’s been some screw up with the payments and your car’s not insured.
Me: So, you phoned me – when you knew I’d be driving – to tell me that?
Mrs L: Well, I thought you’d want to know……
Me: *click*

The conversation when I got home was a bit more heated, I can tell you. Needless to say, the mobile now goes unanswered when I’m driving!

Monday, June 26th, 2006 // Family Life

What do you do when your girlfriend sprouts a set of wings and the tail of a serpent?

The picture above comes from the Fantastic in Art and Fiction website at Cornell University, which has an interesting and grotesque collection of dark images. The site is grouped into themes like Angels & Demons, Danse Macabre, Weird Science and many others.

I’ve been fascinated by the occult for years, and this collection reminds me of the appeal of the unknown. Notably, virtually all of the artwork is from centuries ago, before modern society replaced the threat of God and otherworldly influences with politics and terrorism.

Looking at some of these images, I remember the strange mix of curiosity and fear that I felt as a child, and the faces that would appear in trees and wallpaper and the knots in a door if you stared long enough…

I’m in the mood for a good ghost story now…

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 // Creativity

If you thought crash test dummies had it hard, spare a thought for the stick men (and women) of the world…

Flickr has an amazing set of images showing stick figures in danger. You honestly couldn’t begin to conceive of the number of ways a stick person could be mutilated or injured. Of course, it’s only a matter of time before someone decides to take the protection of stick men under their wing.

I wonder if you can get grant funding for that?

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 // Observations

If you don’t have the stamina for a book review right now, scroll down to the question at the bottom for an interesting ethical debate!

The last time I read a Dean Koontz novel, he was specifically a writer of horror stories. That was a fair few years ago to say the least, and in the meantime Koontz seems to have transcended the pure horror genre. These days, he seems to be writing in the more modern, more lucrative thriller style.

My cynicism (for Koontz’s motives) aside, the man has not lost his touch. Velocity is a fast-paced crime thriller, but manages to raise some interesting moral and ethical questions at the same time.

What’s It All About?

The plot centres around Billy Wiles, an average Joe bartender in a nameless tavern. Wiles lives a simple, innocuous lifestyle: working at the tavern by day and returning to the house where he lives alone at night. Occasionally he visits his comatose girlfriend in hospital.

Things quickly turn sour when Billy discovers a note on the windshield of his car. The note threatens that if he goes to the police, an attractive young schoolteacher will die. If he does not, an elderly woman will be killed. By his actions, Billy will determine the fate of these women.

At first assuming the note to be a cruel joke, Billy takes the note to a friend, Lanny Olsen who is a police officer and asks his advice. Lanny tells him to ignore the note, only later discovering that a schoolteacher has been killed. This begins a series of decisions Billy is forced to make by the anonymous killer and a tortuous game of cat and mouse commences, with Billy trying to discover the killer’s identity while realising that the end game may have terrible consequences for him.

Not only is the killer planting evidence that will incriminate Billy in the murders, he has his eyes set on Billy’s girlfriend and ultimately Billy himself.

Verdict

Koontz is to be applauded for writing such a compelling and intense page-turner. He keeps his chapters short, ending each with a minor cliffhanger so you read voraciously (sure I’ll just read the next chapter…). The cast of characters is well conceived and each is brought to life vividly by Koontz for the roles they play.

Despite Billy’s attempts to unmask the killer, his identity is only revealed in the last few chapters of the book for a dramatic showdown. Koontz will manage to keep you guessing this one until the end (and I don’t intend to spoil it for you!).

Needless to say, I found Velocity to be an excellent piece of storytelling. I mentioned earlier that the thriller genre was much more lucrative than horror these days. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this appear as a movie some day - it ticks all the right boxes.

Questions

Perhaps the central theme of Velocity is the moral dilemma of being forced to choose the fate of another person, through action or inaction.

If you don’t take this note to the police and get them involved, I will kill a lovely blond schoolteacher. If you do take this note to the police, I will instead kill an elderly woman active in charity work. You have four hours to decide. The choice is yours.

The proposition is a difficult one - your actions will doom an individual, one way or another. I thought the decision to include the word “attractive” when describing the schoolteacher was quite cunning. Would you save an attractive person over a vitruous person? On the spur of the moment, how do you determine one person’s right to life over another’s?

A copy of this review is posted at PopOpinions.com.

Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 // Book Reviews