July, 2006

The rumours are true then. The Ho-Ho is gone. Flattened in the name of modernising the Dublin Road.

Back when I were a lad, me and the girlfriend lived in India Street off Botanic Avenue. We had our pick of dodgy chippies to eat out of, but the Ho-Ho was one of our favourites. In those days, it had those cheap Van Gogh prints that were all the rage (about a fiver each in Au Naturale on Rosemary Street) and crappy white plastic garden furniture for the sit-in crowd to eat at.

We were students at the time and we’d actually head down to the Ho-Ho once in a while with a couple of rounds of buttered bread, order up a curry split and have a curry fried rice sandwich.

Now, Paul Rankin may claim that he invented the Curry Fried Rice Sandwich, but the honour is actually shared between me and the Ho-Ho. Their thick, pasty curry sauce mixed with fried rice was crying out to be smeared between two slices of Mother’s Pride. Yes. I was that man.

Anyway, I’m galled that they knocked the place down. Fair enough, it’s been a few years since I visited (I heard it had gone downhill!), but it’s almost as much of a blow as discovering they demolished Livingstone(d) Hall up at Queen’s Elms in 2001. Took me weeks to get over that….

On that note, anybody got any stories of their old University stomping grounds? Better still, anybody else live up in Livingstone Hall around 1995-96?

Update: Jett Loe’s original pictures of the Ho-Ho before it was knocked down.

Thursday, July 20th, 2006 // Observations

A few months ago I posted about a fantastic website I had just came across called BookCrossing.

I have finally managed to register some books, and I now intend to release them into the wild.

The only problem is, I don’t know where to leave them. I live in Crumlin, but doubt that anyone around here bookcrosses. I see that someone else realeased one at Junction One, but it has yet to be claimed, so I have ruled that out.

I could get Mr Levee to release them in Belfast after work, but where should he leave them? I know that a few bookcrossers read the blog (Norah, Cybez and Jimmy Porter thats you!) so I would be grateful for any tips or suggestions you may have.

Thursday, July 13th, 2006 // General

So, the third (and final?) X-Men movie sees Jean Grey return to the world, but…oops…Charles Xavier forgot to mention that Grey has a split personality and a powerful psychotic alter-ego exists inside her head! Thankfully, when Jean resurfaces she takes a moment to kill her former boyfriend, the utterly pointless Scott Summers (Cyclops).

All this takes place amid the discovery of a cure for the Mutant X gene which promises a normal life for mutants. It’s met with a mixed reaction - some mutants are glad of the prospect of a cure while others (Magneto’s crowd) see the potential ‘extermination’ of the mutant race and choose to fight against it.

The movie remains fast-paced throughout, and it’s abundant in shocks and comic moments throughout: Mystique getting shot with the Mutant cure and losing her abilities, Phoenix (Jean Grey’s alter-ego) disintegrating one of the X-Men in a tense battle, and getting frisky with Wolverine (the bit where she whips his belt off using her psychic powers was a hoot).

One of the set-pieces was completely over the top though: the bit where Magneto raises the Golden Gate bridge and floats it across to Alcatraz Island. In the name of God, why? In X-Men II, Magneto conjures floating discs from atoms of liquid metal! Plus, he has Phoenix in tow with her devastating psychic powers. Surely between them they could have thought up better transportation?

The Acting

As usual, Wolverine and Magneto get their share of the best lines. Ian McKellen is at his wicked best as Magneto, especially turning his back on a newly human Mystique (who’d sacrificed herself to protect him moments earlier) and cunningly convincing Jean Grey to join his rebellion. Hugh Jackman makes the transformation from mild-mannered Aussie to the gruff, blade-fisted Wolverine with ease, and just about steals the show. Wolverine is always the best thing about an X-Men movie.

Kudos should also go to newcomers Vinnie Jones (as rock-headed Juggernaut) and Kelsey Grammer (as Dr. Hugh McCoy). Who would have pictured Frasier as the ol’ blue furball?

On the down side, Halle Berry as Storm is a waste of space. It’s hard to tell if Storm’s character is at fault, or if the the finger should be pointed at Halle Berry’s acting, but three movies down and Storm has yet to play a central role. She’s almost as expendable as Cyclops was. A new hairdo does not the superhero make!

(Oh, why exactly do all the ‘bad’ mutants dress like junkies? Talk about stereotyping…)

X-Men: The Verdict

It’s hard to put your finger on it, but X-Men: The Last Stand is slightly different to its predecessors. Perhaps it’s the departure of director Bryan Singer, perhaps the storyline is too busy, not enough effort on character development.

Whatever your opinion, this is still a comic book translation, so suspend your disbelief for a couple of hours and enjoy the ride. As one reviewer on Rotten Tomatoes said: The Last Stand is as good if not better than X2.

If there’s a morality message, it’s lost in the dizzying special effects and fast pace of the movie. It’s definitely worth a visit to the cinema, so don’t believe the nay-sayers!

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 // Movie Reviews

Have you ever fancied a spot of trampolining while buck naked? If like me this has always appealed to you, but you don’t want to scare the living daylights out of your next door neighbours, then check out this site.

The object of the game is to keep your nude trampolining dude on the trampoline, while performing as many moves and stunts as possible. I managed a poor score of 490 before falling off and breaking my neck, the highest scores achieved are over 6000, so I have a bit of a way to go before I will reach the leader board.

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 // Fun Stuff

I came across Imagination Cubed through its high entry in del.icio.us. It is basically a doodler type program (excuse the non-tech talk). You can draw pictures and create your own scenes, then click on replay and have your drawing repeated right before your eyes.

Better still you can invite friends to waste their time also and join you in a spat of artistic expression, or save your picture and email it to your nearest and dearest. What a fantastic idea!

It reminds me so much of my school days when I would have spent hours in the computer suite messing about with Microsoft Paint, creating birthday cards and crap pictures which my poor mother always pretended to love.

Monday, July 10th, 2006 // Creativity, General, News & Media

I am a firm believer that the eighties were not good to anyone. Look at those fashion and hair disasters…. absolutely no one looked good!

If you need reminding, or just fancy a trip down memory lane, then check out I Love Eighties Music and you can watch all your favourite hits of the eighties, with the artists looking less than sexy.

The site contains well over a thousand eighties hits, I don’t think you could think of an eighties song that isn’t included in thier list.
A few favourites of mine are Abba’s - Super trouper, Alannah Myles - Black Velvet, Aswad - Don’t turn Around and Aerosmiths - Janies Got A Gun.

Thats just the As, it could take me weeks to get through this site!

Sunday, July 9th, 2006 // Fun Stuff

If ever a website made you want to cringe with embarrassment, Black People Love Us will do the job every time.

Warning to the humourless: This is a spoof website.

Sally and Johnny are a middle-class white couple who find that they are well-liked by black people:

We are well-liked by Black people so we’re psyched (since lots of Black people don’t like lots of White people)!! We thought it’d be cool to honor our exceptional status with a ROCKIN’ domain name and a killer website!!

The pictures on the homepage are of Sally and Johnny ‘hanging’ with their black friends. Brilliantly, they are at the center of the group and all their black friends are laughing at their jokes. Underneath this, they have a set of testimonials from their “real life friends”:

Johnny calls me “da man!” That puts me at ease. It makes me feel comfortable, because I am Black and that’s how Black folks talk to one another.

Check out the hanging out section for pictures of Sally and Johnny chillin’ with their homies!

As you can imagine, there’s a serious message behind the satire, and it points the finger at the misconceptions we have of other races and the social stereotyping, like all blacks listen to gangsta rap, submit to ghetto culture and are somehow less intelligent than white people. Also, how all blacks think the same:

Sally and Johnny always ask me how the entire black community feels about certain topics. I really respect this about them because I am black and therfore obviously know how all blacks feel about everything! Black People Love Us Testimonials

We don’t really have this problem in Northern Ireland, because we’re not that multi-cultural. Yet. It’s coming, though and maybe we need to ask a few questions about our attitudes toward different races and cultures.

Friday, July 7th, 2006 // Fun Stuff

A few trips through Belfast recently have taken me up the Shankill Road, and I wanted to share these thoughts with you.

Firstly, I like the Shankill Road. I can’t stress this enough. Along with the Falls Road, the Shankill has been at the epicenter of Northern Irish news and politics for many years. There’s no doubt that the Shankill Road harbours a colourful (deadly? murderous?) array of paramilitary characters, but aren’t there aggressors on all sides of our conflict?

A few weeks ago, as I was passing through the Shankill, I had to smile when I realised that the vast majority of shop fronts and buildings along the way were painted some combination of red, white or blue. I chuckled to myself: was this accidental or by design?

In the intervening weeks, the Shankill Road has been decorated from top to bottom with Union Flags and bunting and banners on every lamppost, supported by local orange lodges and businesses. The thing is, it’s a bit much. Looking up or down the road, your view is hazed by Union Flag bunting, like an Impressionist panting done by a Loyalist! Comes across as a wee bit insecure, if you ask me.

From Belfast City Centre to the Woodvale Road

As you come up the Shankill Road (from the City Centre), there is a lot of dereliction to deal with. You get that a lot around interface areas - no man’s land.

However, in the last seven days, a portion of waste ground on the lower Shankill has been fenced off. It looks like there’s some construction work about to begin.

Further up the road, the 12th of July is being built. Instead of the usual “Dump Wood Here” sign, a board cockily announces “Carlsberg don’t do bonfires, but if they did this would be the best!“. The structure is massive - that’s going to be some inferno when they light it.

As you pass the traffic lights up the road, you’re entering UVF territory (note the PUP office on the right-hand-side past the junction). The Shankill (like the Falls) is still the bastion of local businesses, and like its Nationalist counterpart is a bustling, busy community. I’ll always maintain these people have much more in common than they’ll ever admit - those steely, hardened faces are pure Belfast…

Pass The Rex bar on the right, marked by serious Loyalist murals - it was the scene of a Loyalist turf war a few years ago. I saw some tourists taking pictures last week (and I wonder if they visisted the bar for a drink, did they get served?). On up the road, there are some posters where waste ground has been fenced off. I must stop there someday to read them.

Stream of Consciousness

Sorry if that was a bit muddled, but I have conflicted impressions of the Shankill. On one hand, it’s the ‘home’ of mindless Loyalism (don’t start me on the cock-eyed portrait of the Queen Mother!), but on the other, the people of the area have come through their own Troubles, coupled with the decline of many local trades. Nothing has risen to take the place of those trades, and the area has fallen into decline, the people represented badly by the mainstream Unionist parties.

We talked quite a bit last year about Protestant/Unionist disenfranchisement. Well, the Shankill’s not that bad, as far as I can see. What it’s really crying out for is to have the paramilitary element removed. How can kids on the Shankill grow up normally when they have gang wars and ‘brigadiers of bling’ on their doorstep? They need and deserve something better, but no-one’s there to give it to them.

Regardless, everyday life continues as normal on the Shankill Road, just like everywhere else…

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 // General

Holy shite! It didn’t take long for the wolves to start baying for Ronaldo’s blood, did it?

You know I don’t normally do football on TLB, but I was surprised to see how quickly some loser responded with a hate site directed at the guy. First I heard of the thing was on the Chris Moyles show this morning where they were slagging Ronaldo off.

Big disappointment…

Not that I care, I’ll be glad to see those pissy England songs disappearing off the radio now. 1966-2006? It can be done?

Apparently it can’t:)

Monday, July 3rd, 2006 // News & Media

Prepare to wet yourself laughing. The Leader Of The Free World takes the U2 classic and makes it his own. Pure class!

As seen on Break.com

Discovered on The DIY Rockstar

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 // Fun Stuff