Snip Snip (Part 4): Vasectomy Anticipation
When this blog started way back in 2004, one of the reasons was that we’d (me and the missus) discovered that we were expecting another baby. Our third, and a complete surprise, as we’d been very careful not to invoke a third child.
Needless to say, we’re almost two years down the line and baby’s on his feet already, yet the vasectomy I’d requested has still not been done.
My last post about getting a vasectomy was well over a year ago, at which point I was considering paying for the necessary surgery. Well, we just couldn’t afford that, so we were extra extra careful.
Anyway, I went to my doctor about a month ago to try and move this ridiculously slow process on. Shortly afterward I got an appointment to see the consultant. That appointment was today.
Firstly, if you’re married or in a relationship, you can’t have one of these appointments without your wife or partner in attendance. Apparently they might want more babies, so they have to give their blessing to the vasectomy party procedure. Let me tell you, Mrs Levee was only too happy to agree!
Secondly, the appointment is unexpectedly short. The consultant went over the details of the vasectomy with me, even into the idiot-proof details like “the object of this is to render you permanently sterile”. Well, yipee! Sign me up!
Luckily, they seemed to recognise that the appointment had taken forever and told us that the procedure would be done within the next six weeks. After that, you’re advised to keep wearing the rubber johnnies until they’ve tested for the presence of sperm. They do that at three months and agains at four. If you get a clean report, your nappy changing days are over. Hooray!
The only question remaining: local or general anaesthetic? Take your pick.
Mr. Levee!! As long as you are aware the object of Vasectomy is to render you
permanently sterile. Decommissioning the male seed projectile organ projectile organ? is one small step for a man but one which will allow many years of bliss.
Anyway, firing blanks should prove as much fun. If you are atrue Irishman - To be sure - to be sure, Have both.
Geez man, I hate the thought of operations at the best of times but if someone’s going to be messing about with sharp objects around my private parts, I sure as hell don’t wanna see it!!
Beano: I used to be squeamish at the thought of the snip, but after three children I can only say that I’m jubilant at the thought right now!
Think about it: no more rubber johnnies! That’s one of the biggest benefits!
That third child is always a surprise. I don’t know ANYone with three kids who hasn’t had the same “Holy. Crap.” moment when they found out the third was on his or her way.
I’m just not sure of the wisdom of proclaiming to the world for posterity that your 3rd child was an accident. What happens when the kid grows up and decides to read Mum and Dad’s blog?
Hope it goes well anyway