December, 2006

You know, there’s been a big hole in the political satire market since Newton Emerson hung up his boots for a semi-respectable career as a journalist. Thankfully, he’s done the decent thing and bundled the last couple of years worth of material into a book (did someone say “cash-in?”), The Last of the Portadown News.

The Portadown News was one of those sites that literally had me in stitches laughing. I’d check the site each week for new material, and within 5 or 10 minutes, I’d be getting told to shut up and stop laughing to myself.

Whatever you think of Newton Emerson, he’s got a sharp wit that cuts straight through all the bullshit and political rhetoric that gets spun around here. He can expose a double-standard in his sleep.

Anyway, I got a copy of The Last of the Portadown News for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I was doubled over laughing yet again. I know this is juvenile, but the names of the reporters really got me started (Billy Shootspatrick, Reg Empty, etc) to the point where I wondered if Emerson’s own name wasn’t made up (Newtown-emerson, anyone? No?).

Anyway, despite the fact that it’s freely available online, get yourself a copy! You never know when they’ll pull the plug for good.

Sunday, December 31st, 2006 // Northern Ireland: Politics

Did you ever believe that another Superman movie would ever hit the big screen again?

When I started to hear rumours of a new Superman movie, I was excited. I’m a big fan of Superman and without getting into the symbolism of the character and what Superman means to me, news of Superman’s Return was more than welcome.

But as the hype grew, excitement was replaced with dread. I felt that too much hype = big budget but poor movie. And so, despairing for our hero, I took Mrs Levee to see Superman Returns.

Stop. Fast Forward 3 Months.

OK, the bit above was written just after I’d seen Superman Returns in the cinema. I walked out mightily impressed, thinking Bryan Singer had done a great job and Brandon Routh had managed to bring continuity between his role and Christopher Reeve’s.

Anyway, I rented it out last night and watched it again. It’s not quite the masterpiece I imagined.

Let’s start with the supporting cast. Forgettable. Kate Bosworth is an asexual Lois Lane, not attractive, not actually anything. I detest movies where you can’t empathise with the main cast members, and Kate Bosworth is lame as Lois Lane.

Then we have Kevin Spacey. To all intents and purposes he’s reprising his spoof role here as Dr. Evil crossed with Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor of old. The problem is, I don’t recall Lex Luthor in the comics I’ve read being a comic turn, surrounded by buffoons. They could have created a much more formidable opponent for Superman.

Next, and this really bugged me, what decade was the damned film set in? In the Smallville scenes, nothing is more recent than the 1940’s: Martha Kent’s truck, the kitchen radio. The whole setup is rooted in the past, in Superman’s early years. Initially, the Metropolis scenes take the same approach - you first see the Daily Planet building, drowning in Art-Deco, then you realise there are plasma screens everywhere, Lois is on a state-of-the-art shuttle craft and Luthor is heading for the Fortress of Solitude in a very modern-looking yacht.

Hell, you might want to see what PopSyndicate says about the movie, because they also make some valid points.

Positive Points: Superman Returns

Well, Brandon Routh makes a passable Christopher Reeve clone (although he looks like he’s wearing a wig at certain points). The early airplane rescue scene is amazing, and helps to establish Routh as a credible Superman.

The effects are stunning, although Superman looks a little rubbery where he’s displayed as a CGI character. A little like Neo in the Matrix movies. The movie is overall a lot darker than the previous Superman films.

I also loved and hated in equal measure the storyline involving Lois Lane’s son. While it didn’t fit with my ideas about the Superman story, it was a nice twist and left a juicy cliffhanger that needs to be resolved in a future movie.

In Summary

Given the talent that Bryan Singer brought to the X Men movies, I’m surprised that Superman Returns wasn’t a better movie. He didn’t kill it stone dead, but after 20 years, thousands of rumours about a new movie, I expected better than this.

Brandon Routh could go another couple of rounds as the Man of Steel, but the supporting cast needs a cattle-prod up the ass and a better storyline next time - how about Doomsday and the Death of Superman? Or maybe one of those stories where Superman gains 21st Century powers?

Saturday, December 30th, 2006 // Movie Reviews

Yes, despite the fact that I’ve already taken a pop at the Catholic Church this month, I thought I’d link you over to this no-holds-barred cartoon at the excellent Wulff Morgenthaler site.

In Northern Ireland, well Ireland as a whole, the Catholic Chruch seem to have been pretty lax in dealing with allegations of sexual misconduct by members of the clergy. The cartoon says it all.

Friday, December 29th, 2006 // Spirituality & Stuff

Holy crap, how time flies! Looking down on the archives list today, I discovered that I’ve been blogging at The Levee Breaks for just over two years!

In that time, there have been some big changes in my life, which were well recorded here. I had a keen interest in Northern Irish politics for a long while, which attracted many readers here at one point. My job turned to - and continues to be - shit. Other Northern Irish blogs have come and gone in that time, some missed more than others.

It’s all been recorded here at one point or another.

Funny, as 2006 draws to a close, my depressive episode seems to be lifting. Maybe it’s the impending New Year, causing me to reassess life. I’m sure I’ve lost control of my goals at some point. A lot of this year has been spent wondering what the hell I’m doing with my life and trying to find meaning in existence. I know that sounds painfully angsty, but there you go!

The thing is, The Levee Breaks 2006 has reflected that - sporadic posting, jumping from topic to topic, all signs of an unsettled mind. 2007 is the year for action. But we’ll talk about that later

Friday, December 22nd, 2006 // General

I’m no fan of organised religion at the best of times, but this article by Steve Pavlina gave me some food for thought. Musing on the wealth of the Catholic Church, Steve estimates that they have several billion dollars worth of gold alone:

According to United Nations World Magazine, the Church has several billion dollars in gold alone, and when you consider their massive worldwide real estate holdings, their artwork collection, and their tax exempt status, the amount of wealth controlled by the Catholic Church is staggering.

Whatever the true figure, the fact remains that the Catholic Church is unimaginably wealthy. Do these riches sit untouched, hoarded somewhere while people are starving, destitute and in despair all around the world?

Maybe I’m missing a major piece of the jigsaw here, but surely some of this unholy treasure could be sold off and used to assist developing countries in a real way? I’d be interested to hear some of your thoughts.

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006 // Observations

OK, so I went a bit quiet after my vasectomy a few weeks ago. Rumours of my demise were greatly exaggerated (thanks Aileen and Parnell) and I’m still standing.

It’s actually been a busy few weeks, so me and my sore plums just had to keep on moving with little time to rest. Most notably we were shipped to Amsterdam for a couple of days courtesy of the sister-in-law.

My reactions to Amsterdam are mixed. As a red-blooded guy, the legends of the Red Light District and the er…liberal attitudes appealed to me. On the flight across, we read about how the legalisation of the area had led to a safer place for punters and prostitutes alike.

I wondered how this would play out in real life, and was disappointed to discover a seedy dive with crowds of youths lingering around the area - not at all the enlightened sexual mecca I’d been imagining! Think Gresham Street in Belfast with a few sex shows thrown in for good measure.

Now, believe it or not, I didn’t understand the reason behind the name “Red Light Area” until last week. If you’re a greenhorn like me, read on:

Basically, as you walk through the area, you’ll see buildings with red neon lights in the windows. And in each window, provocatively dressed babes try and tempt you in for a bit of paid-for nookie. Now, in fairness to them, (most) were very good looking girls, not the clapped-out hags you might expect to see Wayne Rooney ‘knocking’ around with.

Mrs L was surprised too, and indulged a spot of me eyeing up hookers for about five minutes. It’s one thing looking at semi-nude babes in a magazine, but hard to ogle when they’re staring right back at you.

Anyway, stray away from the red light bits and Amsterdam’s quite a nice place. Walking down the main thoroughfares with all their gift shops reminded me of O’Connell Street, but with dope and sex motifs instead of shamrocks and leprechauns! Restaurants were of generally good quality and we ate well for reasonable prices.

So there you go, nothing sinister happened, thanks for your concern! I’ll try and dig out some of the photos we managed to take later on.

Monday, December 4th, 2006 // Observations