March, 2007

I picked this up at the airport that time we went to Amsterdam in December. At that time, I was a complete Irvine Welsh virgin - had never read one of his books before, or even seen Trainspotting (hard to believe?).

What’s It About?

Bedroom Secrets Of The Master Chefs centres around the rivalry between Edinburgh Environmental Health Officer Danny Skinner and Brian Kibby, a newcomer to Skinner’s department to whom Danny takes and instant irrational dislike.

Danny’s a full-on shit: womaniser, heavy drinker, drug taker, thinks Saturday night’s definitely alright for fighting (he’s virtually a professional football hooligan). All this makes for some pretty spectacular hangovers…

…which is where Kibby comes in. Somehow, in his complete hatred of the clean-cut mammy’s boy, Skinner manages to curse Brian Kibby - and somehow manages to curse Kibby with all his hangovers! Essentially, Skinner can party as hard as he likes and Kibby receives the hangover.

Bedroom Secrets is littered with some very humorous set pieces, set in Welsh’s gritty but affectionate Edinburgh. Interestingly, Skinner’s and Kibby’s lives are linked in more ways than they both know, and the tension between the two boils over into open resentment as the novel reaches its climax.

In Summary

Irvine Welsh manages to create some interesting, three-dimensional characters in Bedroom Secrets, from the protagonists Skinner and Kibby to the bit players like Skinner’s mother and his colleagues Shannon McDowall and slimy Bob Foy.

Skinner himself is a masterpiece of nastiness, delighting in Kibby’s downfall and generally getting up to no good. There’s a scene where he seeks assistance from an old clairvoyant and ends up sleeping with her in ‘payment’. Truly disgusting!

I liked Neil McAllister’s review of Bedroom Secrets - he picked up on a good point, that the ‘curse’ on Kibby is like a perverse Dorian Grey enchantment. Neil’s review is worth a read if you’re interested.

A copy of this review is also posted at PopOpinions.com.

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 // Book Reviews

This story gave me a laugh when I came across it this morning. In what was basically a very bitter divorce, a man chainsawed the couple’s summer home in half after their divorce settlement.

Well, the judge did say he was entitled to half…..

Just the mental picture of this German dude making off with half a shack on a forklift is cracker:

“The man said he was just taking his due,” said a police spokesman. “But I don’t think his wife was too pleased.”

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother’s house where he has since been staying.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 // News & Media

Let me start by telling you I’m a huge fan of books and movies that involve time travel and /or immortality. The Time Traveler’s Wife steers away from pure sci-fi, instead telling the story of a romance between a girl and a time traveler.

Henry DeTamble is the time traveler - a librarian who inadvertently time travels whenever he’s stressed or excited. Rather than treat the time travel as an oddity, Niffenegger writes the time travel as an illness called ‘chrono displacement syndrome’.

His girlfriend/wife is Claire Abshire an art student from a well-heeled family. The course of Claire and Henry’s lives seem intertwined, as Henry unconsciously time travels into Claire’s life at various stages from his future. Henry also crosses his own time stream a number of times and revisits a traumatic event from his childhood.

The biggest challenge with time travel stories is avoiding confusion. Niffenegger achieves this semi-successfully by reminding us at the start of each chapter of the date and age of the two main characters. The narrative also alternates between Henry and Claire’s viewpoints, which helps to bring the characters to life and helps the reader to empathise more with their situation.

I won’t ruin the story by going into too much detail on the plot, but in short Niffenegger manages to craft a tale that is warm, witty, romantic and above all, human. As a matter of fact, one of my favourite characters in the book is Gomez, a tragic figure who marries Claire’s friend, but secretly loves Claire. Niffenegger deals with Gomez particularly well, letting us know early on about his feelings for Claire, but also showing how his relationship with Henry develops over the years.

In Summary

The Time Traveler’s Wife is a touching tale that uses time travel as a tool to tell the story of two people. So, despite time travel being a central theme in the book, the focus remains on the relationship between Henry and Claire. Initially, I was a little disappointed that the time travel wasn’t the central theme of the book, but the true value of the book is in the human interactions.

When you look at it, The Time Traveler’s Wife covers all the key events in life: teenage life, romance, marriage, family, children. There’s so much to relate to and that’s probably why I found the book so touching in the end. Sruthi has also written a good review of the book, although she walked away underwhelmed.

Perhaps that’s because there isn’t a ‘happy-ever-after’ ending. I don’t know, but I do recommend the book. If you’ve read it, tell me what you thought in the comments. If not, pick up a copy and then come back!

A copy of this review is posted at PopOpinions.com

Friday, March 9th, 2007 // Book Reviews

Picture the scene: we’re sitting in the departure lounge at Gatwick airport this afternoon waiting for the EasyJet flight back to Aldergrove. Over the tannoy the flight was announced, and before parents travelling with children or people with special needs, purchasers of EasyJet Speedy Boarding were called.

And a small handful of self-important looking business people shuffled to the desk.

I couldn’t help but glare at them. It’s not normally my nature, but how self-involved are these people, who need to sit their fat arses down on a plane before the rest of us? Or do they purchase this to qualify the fact that they’re flying low-cost?

Anyway, the other boarding groups were called and Mrs L and I discovered that we were two of the three people in boarding group “C”. So, we dutifully dandered down the stairs out to the….airport bus, where all the other passengers were waiting. Including those speedy-boarding twats who paid an extra fiver to sit on a bus.

Ha ha ha!

Needless to say, we all ended up arriving at the plane at the same time. Not only that, the speedy board suckers sort of ended up at the back because the later passengers like us were already at the doors. So we got on the plane first more or less!

What a stunning way for EasyJet to screw extra money out of customers who need to think they’re better than everyone else.

My Advice To Speedy Boarding Customers

Don’t be such an arsehole. Buying speedy boarding makes you look like a dick and sends out a clear message to your fellow passengers about you! You’re not that important that you need to sit on a plane ten minutes before everyone else.

Are you the same kind of person who stampedes out of your seat when the plane lands, only to stand bent double while they roll the stairs up to the plane?

Just remember: Levee’s watching you….

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007 // Observations