Are You An EasyJet Speedy Boarding Tosser?
Picture the scene: we’re sitting in the departure lounge at Gatwick airport this afternoon waiting for the EasyJet flight back to Aldergrove. Over the tannoy the flight was announced, and before parents travelling with children or people with special needs, purchasers of EasyJet Speedy Boarding were called.
And a small handful of self-important looking business people shuffled to the desk.
I couldn’t help but glare at them. It’s not normally my nature, but how self-involved are these people, who need to sit their fat arses down on a plane before the rest of us? Or do they purchase this to qualify the fact that they’re flying low-cost?
Anyway, the other boarding groups were called and Mrs L and I discovered that we were two of the three people in boarding group “C”. So, we dutifully dandered down the stairs out to the….airport bus, where all the other passengers were waiting. Including those speedy-boarding twats who paid an extra fiver to sit on a bus.
Ha ha ha!
Needless to say, we all ended up arriving at the plane at the same time. Not only that, the speedy board suckers sort of ended up at the back because the later passengers like us were already at the doors. So we got on the plane first more or less!
What a stunning way for EasyJet to screw extra money out of customers who need to think they’re better than everyone else.
My Advice To Speedy Boarding Customers
Don’t be such an arsehole. Buying speedy boarding makes you look like a dick and sends out a clear message to your fellow passengers about you! You’re not that important that you need to sit on a plane ten minutes before everyone else.
Are you the same kind of person who stampedes out of your seat when the plane lands, only to stand bent double while they roll the stairs up to the plane?
Just remember: Levee’s watching you…. 
Isn’t travelling fun!
My advice would just be to know your airport and only pay if there’s not a bus trip to the plane lol.
You can’t help but be happy to hear a story like that though.
I’ll confess to having tried the speedy boarding thing. It works well if you know your airport and only have hand luggage. Was it worth the extra £2.50 to have a better chance of getting the train? Yes. Outside of similar time constraints, I can’t really see the point.
(Of course, if they still had the exit rows with extra legroom, it would make it worth my while. But they don’t.)
I think you were on the same flight as 20M !
http://twentymajor.net/2007/03/08/i-hate-flying/
I would gladly pay the extra and get on last as long as I didn’t have to sit beside a dork like you…
LOL Get JY here. Meeow.
Thank god I’ve found you. Easy Jet - been there. Guy browning - been there. Fire Poster - been there. Keep up the good work.
Is it a case of “great minds”, Brian? Thanks for popping across The Levee Breaks, and thanks for the link back!
Hey! I missed that comment from JY Kelly, or is that an anagram of KY Jelly?
Oh, I’ll be watching EasyJet flights for you! I suppose I’ll know you when they call the Very Important Speedy Boarders?
Fantastic advice, Levee. Great post.
Not self-important tossers, but people who really really want the little bit of extra legroom available on some seats. But then I am over six foot, and you clearly have some issues that klead you to label other people as tossers.
Jon, I’m well over six foot tall myself, and I don’t have an issue about where I sit. I made the tossers remark because I still cannot understand why some people have a need to be at the front of every queue!
It’s the same with driving - some people hate to see another car in front and go to ridiculous lengths to overtake. I’ve seen it happen.
Anyway, I took a look at your blog. Interesting reading, since I’m doing a bit more travelling these days.
The boyfriend gets speedy boarding when his work are paying for his flights when they send him away - anything to screw them out of more money!
Ps. He says that speedy boarding is completely useless, “you’re on an Easyjet plane, there’s no such thing as a good seat!”
Hi all
I wrote up my experiences with Speedy boarding on my blog, as seen by Levee. On four flights it ranged from useless to brilliant. I have no desire to be at the front of any queue, and indeed stay seated when the plane lands, unlike most people, but there are 18 seats on an easyjet plane with extra legroom, and I will pay to increase my chances of getting one.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
J Y Kelly the imposter is letting my good name down. How uncivilised of you to comment in such a derogative fashion about fellow passengers of Easy Jet. So you are just a cheapskate as you are travelling Cheapo and objecting to smart cnuts paying for the privelidge of sitting on the bus/plane/whatever first. You don’t hear the Original J Y Kelly complaining about folks travelling cheap so get a life and another name Mr Imposter.
[...] humourous post here discuss’s Easyjets new feature allowing up to 20 passengers to move first to the check in [...]
Hi
I admit im one of those self important tossers who fly business, and pay extra for an opportunity to queue jump! Does it make me a bad person, no. It just gives me a few extra moments to bag extra leg room, crack the laptop out & look important when all im really doing is playing solitaire or watching paticular strong dutch porn! Is it even legal at 38,000 ft?? anyway, nice blog!
Couldn’t agree more.
I’m well over 6 foot tall, doesn’t matter where I sit on an Easyjet but that’s the trade-off for the cheap flight. The other tossers that tee me off are the ones travelling alone who just HAVE to have a window seat in their very own row. Be nice, wait until the families get on and then use the seats that are left.That way you can also swerve the snot dribbling kids.
Watched all the speedy boarders at Liverpool get on the bus first and the plane last, absolute bliss.