General

If Gerry Adams were to tell me today is Monday, I’d doublecheck my diary just to make sure.

I don’t believe that Sinn Fein should be ever considered a truly democratic party, until there is a full and frank confession of the crimes committed by all its members during the last four decades.

I believe that The Cult of Leader Gerry inhibits true political debate and progress within not only Sinn Fein, but Northern Ireland as a whole.

I believe Sinn Fein are still essentially a sectarian party, uninterested in widening their electoral support beyond their own “traditional” narrow support-base….

Yet, yet…..  

I was talking to a very close relative last night, one who lost two of his best friends to Provo murder gangs in the early 80s. We were nattering, of course, about the day’s developments down at the RDS.  

His verdict on the passed Ard Chomhairle motion was posed in a rhetoric question, “well, is it good news for Northern Ireland or not?”   

“To achieve this the Ard Chomhairle is hereby mandated to:* Appoint Sinn Féin representatives to the Policing Board and the District Policing Partnership Boards to ensure that:- a civic policing service, accountable and representative of the community is delivered as quickly as possible, - the Chief Constable and the PSNI are publicly held to account,- policing with the community is achieved as the core function of the PSNI,

- political policing, collusion and “the force within a force” is a thing of the past and to oppose any involvement by the British Security Service/MI5 in civic policing”    Strip away all the macho posturing, the flowery speeches, the carefully stage-managed photo opportunities.   

Strip away all the macho posturing, the flowery speeches, the carefully stage-managed photo opportunities.   This motion is Republicans accepting, for the first time, that everybody in Northern Ireland deserves a police force, an impartial Northern Irish police force working under the normal legal guidelines followed by any other police force in the UK (or the rest of Europe for that matter). Crime prevention carried out not by the boys with balaclavas and baseballs, but by *normal*, on-the-beat coppers.  

And if you look at the end of the motion, that acceptance isn’t conditional:  

“That the Ard Chomhairle is mandated to implement this motion only when the power-sharing institutions are established and when the Ard Chomhairle is satisfied that the policing and justice powers will be transferred. Or if this does not happen within the St Andrews timeframe, only when acceptable new partnership arrangements to implement the Good Friday Agreement are in place.”  

Whether it’s a power-sharing executive or Plan B, Sinn Fein have agreed to the principle of supporting the PSNI and the criminal justice system. It’s there in back and white.

Now, of course, actions speak louder than words and of course, I still hold much of what Sinn Fein stands for in deep contempt, but… surely isn’t that statement good news for all of us in Northern Ireland?  

Monday, January 29th, 2007 // General

Have you ever seen the Fire Service posters where a child has scrawled “You forgot to check the smoke alarm batteries Daddy?” on a charred wall? What a horrible thought - that as the house was burning down around him, your child was vindictive enough to be heaping blame on you instead of bothering to escape!

Anyway, this leads me to an incident that happened a couple of weeks ago at my in-laws house. As they slept that night, someone set fire to a shed at the back of their house. The fire caught on quickly and spread to the house, filling it with smoke.

Their neighbours noticed the fire and started kicking the front door to alert them, but they didn’t wake up. It was only when the (badly placed) smoke alarms went off that they woke up and scarpered. The Fire Brigade later theorised that they may have already been affected by the smoke fumes - explaining how difficult it was to wake them up.

The Firemen also explained that the fire had almost reached the cavity layer and had it gone that far, the whole house would have been engulfed by flames. Apparently a few minutes later and they wouldn’t have stood a chance. Five minutes from being a headline - 5 people dead, 4 adults and an infant.

Now before you ask, I have an alibi! I was tucked up safely in bed far from the scene of the crime!

A few days after the incident, we were talking about it and it suddenly occurred to me what the unforeseen consequences might have been if the worst had happened. Being among the most immediate family members, we would have been expected to:

• Make funeral arrangements. My first thought was “how the hell would we afford 5 funerals?”
• Mrs L’s 11 year old brother was luckily out of the house on that night. Had the worst happened, we’d have become his full-time carers. There are a couple of immediate thoughts:
  • Is our house big enough? We look after him enough to be able to adjust to living with him, but do we have enough room to share our house permanently?
  • How would we work in commitments to keep up his relationship with his grandparents and other relatives? Particularly on his Father’s side, they’re not people we know very well.
• Other issues like do the in-laws have a will, how to handle their property and stuff like that. We’ve been lucky enough not to have too many deaths in the family and none close enough that we’ve become involved in the arrangements. Who helps out with this sort of thing?

Moving on, the bizarro part of the story is that, two days later the mother-in-law was bitching and moaning about the inconvenience of having to put in a new kitchen and having her house professionally cleaned! Everything is a problem to the mother-in-law, and having escaped with her life and her house more or less intact, she automatically went looking for problems.

Anyway, I’d never thought too hard about how something that happened to extended family would affect us. But obviously there are consequences. Another is that now I’m glad the mother-in-law doesn’t offer to babysit our kids too much, because what if they’d been in the house that night too?

Thursday, January 25th, 2007 // Family Life

The Levee Breaks is now accepting applications from contributors.

We’re looking for contributors who can provide thought-provoking pieces on current affairs in Northern Ireland and beyond. You can be Nationalist, Unionist, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim….whatever. The wider the range of opinions the better.

You’ll receive an account and logon details for the site and be able to post articles straight away. I’ll be on hand to help you learn how to use the blogging software and guide you through putting your posts on the site.

If you have a blog, we can provide a link back to it from each of your posts, and a short profile to tell the readers about you.

Contributor Policy

There are a couple of rules for contributors:

• If you have a website or blog, you can mention it, but don’t shove it down our throats! Excessive self-promotion will get you banned!
• Keep it civil. Politics is a passionate arena, and people can get easily insulted. Let’s keep the debate calm and respectable, both in the posts and in the comments.
• Your opinions are your own. You are fully responsible for any posts you write, and if we receive any complaint you may be asked to modify or remove the offending post.

It may be necessary to change or add to the Contributor Policy as time goes on. This list reserves the right to change at any time!

Contributor Applications

Use the contact form to apply for a contributor account.

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 // General

As you know, I’ll shortly be inviting people to become contributors on The Levee Breaks.

Before I do, I want to have a discussion with you all about what The Levee Breaks is and what it should become.

I think of this blog as a great place for political, cultural and religious debate. I’ve previously posted reviews and personal stuff here, but the most fun I’ve had here on The Levee Breaks has been with political discussions.

This blog has been linked to from Nationalist and Unionist weblogs as well as press sources, received incisive comments from visitors and (hopefully) published some opinions that forced people to think outside the box for a change!

I want TLB to continue in this vein. I’d like to see contributers from both sides of Northern Ireland’s political divide, and I’d like to see outsiders/neutral parties. I don’t want to be limited to just Northern Irish discussions either - there’s a big wide world out there and it’s only fair that we talk about wider issues too!

Your Thoughts

What would you like to see from The Levee Breaks in the coming year? What direction should the blog take?

Over to you.

Monday, January 8th, 2007 // General

When I started The Levee Breaks a few years back, I wanted to create a site where I could write personal thoughts on a variety of subjects. One of my early role-models was Mark over at Occams Razor, who struck a fantastic blend of politcal and personal posting (and still does).

Over time, The Levee Breaks became better known for my political monologues, which I was proud of, because I don’t have a grounding in politics and because my neutral approach was quite unique in the Northern Irish part of the blogosphere.

As you know, posting has been bloody erratic over the last wee while here, and I’ve been concerned about the future of The Levee Breaks. Should I keep it or should I pull the plug?

Parnell reminded me about all of this in a comment the other day, and it got me thinking. Perhaps the best way to inject new life into this blog is to open it up to contributers.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Stay tuned for more information.

In the meantime, if you’re interested, contact me privately through the contact form or leave a comment here (I’ll respond by email).

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 // General

Holy crap, how time flies! Looking down on the archives list today, I discovered that I’ve been blogging at The Levee Breaks for just over two years!

In that time, there have been some big changes in my life, which were well recorded here. I had a keen interest in Northern Irish politics for a long while, which attracted many readers here at one point. My job turned to - and continues to be - shit. Other Northern Irish blogs have come and gone in that time, some missed more than others.

It’s all been recorded here at one point or another.

Funny, as 2006 draws to a close, my depressive episode seems to be lifting. Maybe it’s the impending New Year, causing me to reassess life. I’m sure I’ve lost control of my goals at some point. A lot of this year has been spent wondering what the hell I’m doing with my life and trying to find meaning in existence. I know that sounds painfully angsty, but there you go!

The thing is, The Levee Breaks 2006 has reflected that - sporadic posting, jumping from topic to topic, all signs of an unsettled mind. 2007 is the year for action. But we’ll talk about that later

Friday, December 22nd, 2006 // General

I’m sure you guys are getting sick of the vasectomy posting at the moment, but it’s probably the biggest thing going on in my life right now.

Well, today was mostly a lot of sitting around the ward waiting for my turn. The staff at the hospital were extremely friendly and sensitive. Having said that, the first thing the consultant told me when we met was “Now, this procedure is easily reversible.” I took pains to explain that I wouldn’t be here if I wanted to reverse the process, but he seemed to feel this was vital information anyway.

In the mid-morning, I was wheeled into the theatre and positioned underneath the big light in the middle of the room. I noticed the radio playing I Don’t Feel Like Dancing in the background, but it wasn’t until later that the irony of the Scissor Sisters playing while I got ‘the snip’ hit me.

Being a squeamish sort, I decided to go for general anaesthetic, but I was harbouring heroic visions of resisting sleep. Ha! I was out like a light in seconds! Half-an-hour later I woke up with a stinging, warm sensation in my groin, and was wheeled back to the ward for rest and a bite to eat.

Now, in the wee small hours, I’m still a bit woozy from the anaesthetic, but otherwise fine. Not so much pain at the moment, although I’ve heard day 2 can be more painful!

Anyway, after 18 months of waiting, that’s it done. No regrets, but then I have to submit two samples in February and March to verify that the vasectomy worked. Can’t wait.

Has anyone else gone through a vasectomy? I’d love to hear your experiences.

Saturday, November 11th, 2006 // Family Life

Well lads and lassies, as of this Friday, my baby-making equipment will be put absolutely and verifiably beyond use.

Sinn Fein are calling my act of decommissioning an historic event in Irish history, while the DUP are typically cynical of the move and want to watch every last ounce (ewww) be deposited in a concrete bunker. Pervs.

Anyway, I got a call to tell me that there’s been a cancellation, asking if I wanted to come in for the vasectomy on Friday. “Absolutely” said I, with glee.

People I speak to about the vasectomy usually wince and act like it’s something to be afraid of, but personally I’m looking forward to it! Until now, the equation went:

Unprotected Sex = Good times + Chance of babies

In a few short months, unprotected sex will only mean “Good Times”. Well, hopefully…

The only bizarre concern that I have is if it’ll alter me in any way. I’d hate to get the operation and find that my libido takes a nose-dive! Other than that, bring it on. A weekend of pain for a lifetime of shagging without Johnny Rubbers!

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006 // Family Life

I’m not afraid to admit that I was an early fan of Destiny’s Child. There was always something aluring about their ‘independent woman’ attitude, infectious tunes and skimpy clothes. Beyonce could kick my ass to the curb any day of the week…

That all changed when Beyonce seemed to become a parody of her sexy self and turned into a loathsome clothes horse as displayed on the pages of Heat magazine every week. Then came the gangsta’s moll phase, when she hooked up with Jay-Z. The girlie Beyonce was replaced by a horrible soft porn version. Not nice.

With the release of Irreplacable, Beyonce seems to have gone back to her roots. And a welcome return it is.

The instrumentation is stripped right back: basically just guitar and a simple drumbeat carrying the tune. A very simple verse/chorus arrangement is enhanced by Beyonce’s most honest vocal performance in recent memory. Beautiful melody in the verses and a chorus so catchy it’ll take a lobotomy to stop you singing it.

Subject matter is a return to Independent Women and Bills, Bills, Bills territory - very much woman on top type of thing.

The video for Irreplaceable carries on the ’stripped down’ theme - Beyonce looking her most natural in ages. The storyline reminds me slightly of the Emotion single Destiny’s Child release a couple of years ago. There’s a little bit of posturing by Ms Knowles, enough to keep the lads happy without being as OTT as her other recent singles.

You mus’ not know ’bout a-me, you mus’ not know ’bout a-me….

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 // General

When this blog started way back in 2004, one of the reasons was that we’d (me and the missus) discovered that we were expecting another baby. Our third, and a complete surprise, as we’d been very careful not to invoke a third child.

Needless to say, we’re almost two years down the line and baby’s on his feet already, yet the vasectomy I’d requested has still not been done.

My last post about getting a vasectomy was well over a year ago, at which point I was considering paying for the necessary surgery. Well, we just couldn’t afford that, so we were extra extra careful.

Anyway, I went to my doctor about a month ago to try and move this ridiculously slow process on. Shortly afterward I got an appointment to see the consultant. That appointment was today.

Firstly, if you’re married or in a relationship, you can’t have one of these appointments without your wife or partner in attendance. Apparently they might want more babies, so they have to give their blessing to the vasectomy party procedure. Let me tell you, Mrs Levee was only too happy to agree!

Secondly, the appointment is unexpectedly short. The consultant went over the details of the vasectomy with me, even into the idiot-proof details like “the object of this is to render you permanently sterile”. Well, yipee! Sign me up!

Luckily, they seemed to recognise that the appointment had taken forever and told us that the procedure would be done within the next six weeks. After that, you’re advised to keep wearing the rubber johnnies until they’ve tested for the presence of sperm. They do that at three months and agains at four. If you get a clean report, your nappy changing days are over. Hooray!

The only question remaining: local or general anaesthetic? Take your pick.

Thursday, October 19th, 2006 // Family Life