Comics

I picked this book up for the missus just before Christmas, and decided to give it a quick flick through before I wrapped it. Within half-an-hour I’d read it cover to cover,

Loads More Lies… is the follow-up to the very popular “Great Lies To Tell Small Kids”, and features a variety of warped cartoons. For example, the picture of a Tweenie lying on the ground - dead - with an Uzi by his side as his anguished mate cries “noooooooo!!!” to the skies. Read the rest »

Saturday, February 24th, 2007 // Book Reviews

You know, there’s been a big hole in the political satire market since Newton Emerson hung up his boots for a semi-respectable career as a journalist. Thankfully, he’s done the decent thing and bundled the last couple of years worth of material into a book (did someone say “cash-in?”), The Last of the Portadown News.

The Portadown News was one of those sites that literally had me in stitches laughing. I’d check the site each week for new material, and within 5 or 10 minutes, I’d be getting told to shut up and stop laughing to myself.

Whatever you think of Newton Emerson, he’s got a sharp wit that cuts straight through all the bullshit and political rhetoric that gets spun around here. He can expose a double-standard in his sleep.

Anyway, I got a copy of The Last of the Portadown News for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I was doubled over laughing yet again. I know this is juvenile, but the names of the reporters really got me started (Billy Shootspatrick, Reg Empty, etc) to the point where I wondered if Emerson’s own name wasn’t made up (Newtown-emerson, anyone? No?).

Anyway, despite the fact that it’s freely available online, get yourself a copy! You never know when they’ll pull the plug for good.

Sunday, December 31st, 2006 // Northern Ireland: Politics

Did you ever believe that another Superman movie would ever hit the big screen again?

When I started to hear rumours of a new Superman movie, I was excited. I’m a big fan of Superman and without getting into the symbolism of the character and what Superman means to me, news of Superman’s Return was more than welcome.

But as the hype grew, excitement was replaced with dread. I felt that too much hype = big budget but poor movie. And so, despairing for our hero, I took Mrs Levee to see Superman Returns.

Stop. Fast Forward 3 Months.

OK, the bit above was written just after I’d seen Superman Returns in the cinema. I walked out mightily impressed, thinking Bryan Singer had done a great job and Brandon Routh had managed to bring continuity between his role and Christopher Reeve’s.

Anyway, I rented it out last night and watched it again. It’s not quite the masterpiece I imagined.

Let’s start with the supporting cast. Forgettable. Kate Bosworth is an asexual Lois Lane, not attractive, not actually anything. I detest movies where you can’t empathise with the main cast members, and Kate Bosworth is lame as Lois Lane.

Then we have Kevin Spacey. To all intents and purposes he’s reprising his spoof role here as Dr. Evil crossed with Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor of old. The problem is, I don’t recall Lex Luthor in the comics I’ve read being a comic turn, surrounded by buffoons. They could have created a much more formidable opponent for Superman.

Next, and this really bugged me, what decade was the damned film set in? In the Smallville scenes, nothing is more recent than the 1940’s: Martha Kent’s truck, the kitchen radio. The whole setup is rooted in the past, in Superman’s early years. Initially, the Metropolis scenes take the same approach - you first see the Daily Planet building, drowning in Art-Deco, then you realise there are plasma screens everywhere, Lois is on a state-of-the-art shuttle craft and Luthor is heading for the Fortress of Solitude in a very modern-looking yacht.

Hell, you might want to see what PopSyndicate says about the movie, because they also make some valid points.

Positive Points: Superman Returns

Well, Brandon Routh makes a passable Christopher Reeve clone (although he looks like he’s wearing a wig at certain points). The early airplane rescue scene is amazing, and helps to establish Routh as a credible Superman.

The effects are stunning, although Superman looks a little rubbery where he’s displayed as a CGI character. A little like Neo in the Matrix movies. The movie is overall a lot darker than the previous Superman films.

I also loved and hated in equal measure the storyline involving Lois Lane’s son. While it didn’t fit with my ideas about the Superman story, it was a nice twist and left a juicy cliffhanger that needs to be resolved in a future movie.

In Summary

Given the talent that Bryan Singer brought to the X Men movies, I’m surprised that Superman Returns wasn’t a better movie. He didn’t kill it stone dead, but after 20 years, thousands of rumours about a new movie, I expected better than this.

Brandon Routh could go another couple of rounds as the Man of Steel, but the supporting cast needs a cattle-prod up the ass and a better storyline next time - how about Doomsday and the Death of Superman? Or maybe one of those stories where Superman gains 21st Century powers?

Saturday, December 30th, 2006 // Movie Reviews

Yes, despite the fact that I’ve already taken a pop at the Catholic Church this month, I thought I’d link you over to this no-holds-barred cartoon at the excellent Wulff Morgenthaler site.

In Northern Ireland, well Ireland as a whole, the Catholic Chruch seem to have been pretty lax in dealing with allegations of sexual misconduct by members of the clergy. The cartoon says it all.

Friday, December 29th, 2006 // Spirituality & Stuff

So, the third (and final?) X-Men movie sees Jean Grey return to the world, but…oops…Charles Xavier forgot to mention that Grey has a split personality and a powerful psychotic alter-ego exists inside her head! Thankfully, when Jean resurfaces she takes a moment to kill her former boyfriend, the utterly pointless Scott Summers (Cyclops).

All this takes place amid the discovery of a cure for the Mutant X gene which promises a normal life for mutants. It’s met with a mixed reaction - some mutants are glad of the prospect of a cure while others (Magneto’s crowd) see the potential ‘extermination’ of the mutant race and choose to fight against it.

The movie remains fast-paced throughout, and it’s abundant in shocks and comic moments throughout: Mystique getting shot with the Mutant cure and losing her abilities, Phoenix (Jean Grey’s alter-ego) disintegrating one of the X-Men in a tense battle, and getting frisky with Wolverine (the bit where she whips his belt off using her psychic powers was a hoot).

One of the set-pieces was completely over the top though: the bit where Magneto raises the Golden Gate bridge and floats it across to Alcatraz Island. In the name of God, why? In X-Men II, Magneto conjures floating discs from atoms of liquid metal! Plus, he has Phoenix in tow with her devastating psychic powers. Surely between them they could have thought up better transportation?

The Acting

As usual, Wolverine and Magneto get their share of the best lines. Ian McKellen is at his wicked best as Magneto, especially turning his back on a newly human Mystique (who’d sacrificed herself to protect him moments earlier) and cunningly convincing Jean Grey to join his rebellion. Hugh Jackman makes the transformation from mild-mannered Aussie to the gruff, blade-fisted Wolverine with ease, and just about steals the show. Wolverine is always the best thing about an X-Men movie.

Kudos should also go to newcomers Vinnie Jones (as rock-headed Juggernaut) and Kelsey Grammer (as Dr. Hugh McCoy). Who would have pictured Frasier as the ol’ blue furball?

On the down side, Halle Berry as Storm is a waste of space. It’s hard to tell if Storm’s character is at fault, or if the the finger should be pointed at Halle Berry’s acting, but three movies down and Storm has yet to play a central role. She’s almost as expendable as Cyclops was. A new hairdo does not the superhero make!

(Oh, why exactly do all the ‘bad’ mutants dress like junkies? Talk about stereotyping…)

X-Men: The Verdict

It’s hard to put your finger on it, but X-Men: The Last Stand is slightly different to its predecessors. Perhaps it’s the departure of director Bryan Singer, perhaps the storyline is too busy, not enough effort on character development.

Whatever your opinion, this is still a comic book translation, so suspend your disbelief for a couple of hours and enjoy the ride. As one reviewer on Rotten Tomatoes said: The Last Stand is as good if not better than X2.

If there’s a morality message, it’s lost in the dizzying special effects and fast pace of the movie. It’s definitely worth a visit to the cinema, so don’t believe the nay-sayers!

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 // Movie Reviews