Happy Valentine’s Day Mrs Levee!
Mrs Levee knows I hate Valentine’s Day. What good is a day spent professing your undying love, spelt out in sickly cliches of chocolate and roses, when the other 364 days are spent barely tolerating each other.
No, Valentine’s Day is a load of crap, and anyone who pours money into insincere shows of affection should be dropped immediately by their significant other. If you’re not making the effort every day, then your paltry box of chocolates is nothing more than a tasty, hi-calorie insult.
I started thinking about Valentine’s Day about a month ago and decided not to honor the day. I thought, do I love my wife? Yes. Do I show her enough? Not nearly enough. Instead of a crappy card, I decided my gift this year would be to try harder and to always have at the front of my mind the reasons why we’re together. So, for Mrs Levee, and the rest of you:
- We’re a team. Not always the best team, especially when we’re tired, but we try hard. And that’s the main thing.
- She looks after me when I’m not well. After that recent episode with my back, I was amazed at how much she did for me, I could only watch her in awe.
- She ‘gets’ my jokes. In fact, the other night, she appluaded my impression of the wheelchair guy in Little Britain by choking on her tea and spraying it out her nose…
- Given the point above, she’s obviously a touch of class!
- She cares about people. Even when I think they don’t deserve it, she invests time in people.
- I can’t imagine spending my life with another person. Yeah, okay, there’s my Jennifer Aniston fixation, but I think she knows there’s no chance of that happening!
- Besides, who else in the world would dance around the kitchen to Van Halen with me?
So, despite my assurances that Valentine’s Day would not be observed Chez Levee, I’d like to (very publicly) wish my wife a happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you have a lovely day, sweetheart!
I love you.
What better way to declare your undying love than through the rasping, mechanical voice of 
